Struggle

I'm disappointed to say that I'm already stuggling. I get home from work and I just want to turn into a puddle of oatmeal on the couch. I don't want to move again until it's time to get into bed. I was so tired yesterday that I didn't even get around to setting up a game system my husband got for his birthday. I'm so lazy I can't even set up a GAME SYSTEM!? What is wrong with me? I know I was more tired than normal yesterday because I stayed up to late, but that's not the first day this has happened. Also, food is always a struggle. My husband had a birthday and he had a mint chocolate chip ice cream cake. I was setting up his new electronics he got and getting everything plugged together. The new Blue Ray broke almost immediately after it had been set up. Also, in the process, a HDMI port on the TV quit working and an optical port on the back of the reciever quit working because the cord kept pulling out because it was too short.

Long story short I became extremely frustrated and upset and cut a HUGE piece of leftover ice cream cake and devoured it to soothe my nerves. A terrible choice and one I instantly regretted, but pretty much par for the course with me.

Yesterday was my first day fully back on track after the weekend. Let's hope I can get a streak going!

The perils of eating out

Okay. Had a very good morning yesterday. I had a faculty meeting after school so I was VERY rumbly in my tumbly by the time I got home. Husband says he wants fish for dinner. My thought is, "okay, that's pretty healthy. I should be able to swing that with no problem." I have a thin slice of bread at the house to stop me from scarfing whatever they put on our table and off we go. He decided that he wants to eat at Fish City Grill.

I suppose I should stop here and mention that I am not the biggest seafood fan. I like crab and a few white fish.

Everything in this place is either fried or a species of sea life that I consider inedible. I end up ordering a grilled blackened chicken sandwhich on wheat bread with only tomatoes and lettuce on top.....or so I think.

It arrives at the table with a slice of cheese on the chicken (not a terrible crime) and resting on a mountain of waffle fries.

Not being one to hurt the fries feelings.........I'm sure you know where this is going.

Anyway, not the goal I had for the evening.

Today is a new day.

New Year!!.....New Me??

The obligatory first of year diet has commenced. The problem is that I don't want it to be obligatory or a diet. I want to effect actual real change in my health. My cholesterol is 223 and my blood pressure is above normal for the first time in my life. With heart disease a rampant problem in my family tree, I'd really like to not make a doctor say, "She's so young to be having a heart attack." Why, then, have I only ever committed to weight loss once in a serious way. And why, after losing 60 pounds, did I allow myself to slip back to an unhealthy and unhappy me? I guess comfort and 'doing what's easy' are the simple answers. I mean, do I really want to say no to that second helping of my favorite foods for the rest of my life? (The answer that should come from my lips is, "Yes! It's only food!") I know that I have to commit my mind and not just my stomach to the task. New goal.....shift my mind.....this is my new life......goodbye old me.